Comments for Pink Blossoms And Mocha Dreams http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com Just a pitcher full of Mirth..... Sun, 04 Oct 2009 10:27:18 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Me day.. by Lemondrops and Norwesters http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/me-day/#comment-215 Lemondrops and Norwesters Sun, 04 Oct 2009 10:27:18 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=307#comment-215 I like the honesty...it's so real I like the honesty…it’s so real

]]> Comment on Before I forget by Living Documents http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/before-i-forget/#comment-214 Living Documents Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:15:58 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=219#comment-214 Maybe because you are not fond of discussing ethics of small business owners is what attracted me to your blog. "What we resist, persists" or so they say. I worked for a small business owner, and I sacrificed much more time, effort, vacation, holidays, home, family, and worked harder because I felt that I was an integral part of the family and was keeping the doors open with the profitable returns from the fruits of my labor. Every one in a position of authority was a minority in their own right, and I thought that all things were equal, if I didn't think I was one of the top executives of the company, the highest woman in the hierarchy. I slept with the lap top open next to my bed, my phone on, and I took calls 24 hours a day if I had to. I would wake up at 6:00 a.m. to be ready for a conference call across the country at 9:00, and roll with it. I was often easy to control, because I was easy to read, I had issues that I wore on my sleeve (though I didn't know that) and paying me low, telling me good job so I continue the pace, or bad job because I can't get to cocky, or hinting that I should have been completed already so the profit is even higher) just was plain manipulative. It wasn't until hours and hours and hours of talking did I finally reach a point of identifying a pain, a pain that hurt so much that I cried at the thought of discussing it. It was a stupid childhood memory, the memory of a young brain interpreting the event, and I rationalized it away daily, I forgot, I let it go, I didn't address it, I appeased the nightmare, and I pretended it had nothing to do with what was going on now. Until I decided to address it.....what could it hurt? I was going to show that a memory of long ago had no bearing on my reality today, so I wrote my parents a letter, and I cried in the night typing through my tears as each painful word came out, and I was done. I sent it....I couldn't look back and I took a stand, that I will never deal with them again unless they prove to me that they love me more than themselves and do something, and I would only ask for the last time as written. I had to be clear with myself that the answer might disappoint me, and that my cries of what had happened would be denied, but it was worse than that. The lie began that they never received the e-mail, to unlikely family events scheduled, to my own brothers asking me to stop turning my back on the family and hurting everyone. It wasn't about anyone else anymore, it was about my truth, and for the first time in my life I had something that I knew was real, and no one could take that away from me. So when the project wound down, and I was expected to fall in line and do as they say, I didn't, and when they accused me of doing a substandard job and to beg for mercy, I didn't even respond except with excitement for my new future.....and when I had faced the brothers lecture of my lack of "whatever" I just pondered what he was saying.....and when nothing else worked for controlling my next decision in how I am making their life better, everyone.............everyone............everyone............was gone. I still have those in my life that didn't depend on a daily phone call or conversation to smooth things over, and they are what I would call...........mmmmmmmm...........true friends. So what do I do with the others? Nothing, I am not going anywhere and hopefully we can meet again with an open heart, but I'm not counting on teaching an old dog.....ethical tricks. Maybe because you are not fond of discussing ethics of small business owners is what attracted me to your blog. “What we resist, persists” or so they say.
I worked for a small business owner, and I sacrificed much more time, effort, vacation, holidays, home, family, and worked harder because I felt that I was an integral part of the family and was keeping the doors open with the profitable returns from the fruits of my labor. Every one in a position of authority was a minority in their own right, and I thought that all things were equal, if I didn’t think I was one of the top executives of the company, the highest woman in the hierarchy. I slept with the lap top open next to my bed, my phone on, and I took calls 24 hours a day if I had to. I would wake up at 6:00 a.m. to be ready for a conference call across the country at 9:00, and roll with it.
I was often easy to control, because I was easy to read, I had issues that I wore on my sleeve (though I didn’t know that) and paying me low, telling me good job so I continue the pace, or bad job because I can’t get to cocky, or hinting that I should have been completed already so the profit is even higher) just was plain manipulative. It wasn’t until hours and hours and hours of talking did I finally reach a point of identifying a pain, a pain that hurt so much that I cried at the thought of discussing it. It was a stupid childhood memory, the memory of a young brain interpreting the event, and I rationalized it away daily, I forgot, I let it go, I didn’t address it, I appeased the nightmare, and I pretended it had nothing to do with what was going on now. Until I decided to address it…..what could it hurt? I was going to show that a memory of long ago had no bearing on my reality today, so I wrote my parents a letter, and I cried in the night typing through my tears as each painful word came out, and I was done. I sent it….I couldn’t look back and I took a stand, that I will never deal with them again unless they prove to me that they love me more than themselves and do something, and I would only ask for the last time as written. I had to be clear with myself that the answer might disappoint me, and that my cries of what had happened would be denied, but it was worse than that. The lie began that they never received the e-mail, to unlikely family events scheduled, to my own brothers asking me to stop turning my back on the family and hurting everyone. It wasn’t about anyone else anymore, it was about my truth, and for the first time in my life I had something that I knew was real, and no one could take that away from me. So when the project wound down, and I was expected to fall in line and do as they say, I didn’t, and when they accused me of doing a substandard job and to beg for mercy, I didn’t even respond except with excitement for my new future…..and when I had faced the brothers lecture of my lack of “whatever” I just pondered what he was saying…..and when nothing else worked for controlling my next decision in how I am making their life better, everyone………….everyone…………everyone…………was gone.
I still have those in my life that didn’t depend on a daily phone call or conversation to smooth things over, and they are what I would call………..mmmmmmmm………..true friends. So what do I do with the others? Nothing, I am not going anywhere and hopefully we can meet again with an open heart, but I’m not counting on teaching an old dog…..ethical tricks.

]]> Comment on Logos, Thymos, Eros… by krishnachaitanyaraghav http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/reminiscing/#comment-211 krishnachaitanyaraghav Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:56:06 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=253#comment-211 And.. Delhi is your soul? Why is that? :P And.. Delhi is your soul? Why is that? :P

]]> Comment on Logos, Thymos, Eros… by krishnachaitanyaraghav http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/reminiscing/#comment-210 krishnachaitanyaraghav Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:55:32 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=253#comment-210 Neat. I can't but fail to notice that there is something about Bangalore's laziness that we all love. Specially the ones who have been here for long. Do you have some must visits in South Bangalore? :) Neat. I can’t but fail to notice that there is something about Bangalore’s laziness that we all love. Specially the ones who have been here for long. Do you have some must visits in South Bangalore? :)

]]> Comment on So u think I dont like you anymore???.. by Great Walls of http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/a-toast-to-the-j-gang/#comment-208 Great Walls of Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:11:27 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=47#comment-208 This was when we were at Sports Bar... I still remember this... :) Good times... This was when we were at Sports Bar… I still remember this… :) Good times…

]]> Comment on Pretty poetry for the day. by Dane Cook http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/06/04/pretty-poetry-for-the-day/#comment-202 Dane Cook Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:08:02 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=293#comment-202 No words can suffice To match your tongue My reply remains a feeling A song for you unsung No words can suffice
To match your tongue
My reply remains a feeling
A song for you unsung

]]> Comment on Before I forget by apitcherfullofmirth http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/before-i-forget/#comment-200 apitcherfullofmirth Fri, 15 May 2009 11:59:30 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=219#comment-200 :) yes, he's a fabulous story - teller.. :) yes, he’s a fabulous story – teller..

]]> Comment on Falling in love with critical theory.. by Manikandan http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/falling-in-love-with-critical-theory/#comment-199 Manikandan Fri, 15 May 2009 06:40:21 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=261#comment-199 Yes. Getting to know critical theory can really make you start thinking things from the other perspective. Postmodernism does even better. Err.there is no 'better' in postmodernism..thats what I find very useful :) Yes. Getting to know critical theory can really make you start thinking things from the other perspective. Postmodernism does even better. Err.there is no ‘better’ in postmodernism..thats what I find very useful :)

]]> Comment on Before I forget by Manikandan http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/before-i-forget/#comment-198 Manikandan Fri, 15 May 2009 06:34:42 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=219#comment-198 I have not interacted with Prof.M much but I would like to after reading this. I have not interacted with Prof.M much but I would like to after reading this.

]]> Comment on It’s crazy ..But I think I can .. by apitcherfullofmirth http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/2009/05/05/its-crazy-but-i-think-i-can/#comment-195 apitcherfullofmirth Fri, 08 May 2009 07:36:50 +0000 http://apitcherfullofmirth.wordpress.com/?p=241#comment-195 yes, it is a weirdly acceptable thing..synthetic in a way, don't you think? .. much the same way we now twitter or update our status messages on facebook... not there yet, getting there soon.. :) Thank you ! and yes! I absolutely love what you write... yes, it is a weirdly acceptable thing..synthetic in a way, don’t you think? .. much the same way we now twitter or update our status messages on facebook… not there yet, getting there soon.. :)

Thank you ! and yes! I absolutely love what you write…

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